Never Been Unloved (Beth)

I grew up in a house that wasn’t a safe place for me. My childhood was littered with abuse, abandonment, divorce and alcoholism. As a child, I took on the responsibility for all the bad the things that happened to me, and around me. Into my adult life I carried these burdens, and believed that somehow, something must be terribly wrong with me. So, like many others, I tried to fix myself and my relationships through self-help books, counseling, and trying everything I could, to be a “better” person. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get it right, no matter how hard I tried.

I was invited to church by one of the preschool teachers who had become a dear friend to me. In walked Jesus. I listened to the sermons, and began doing bible study. I devoured the teaching I was receiving, never realizing the deep impact they were having on my life. Something strange happened; I began struggling like never before. “This doesn’t make sense!” I remember saying to myself. “I have been baptized; I am following Jesus…Why is my life falling apart!” Finally, God put some godly women in my life who held a mirror up to me and told me who I was, who God created me to be; a beautiful, compassionate, smart, courageous woman. This was the truth!

All these years I had believed the lies that had been told to me…”You’re not good enough, you’ll never measure up, and no one cares about you or what you think”. I wept, and cried out to God, asking him to help me find the woman He wants me to be. He answered by opening my eyes to the loving husband and children I have, and by bringing me a church family, and other believers who continue to speak the truth to me, and walk beside me on my journey. I am loved.